Minggu dengan tab kucing, makeup dan kecantikan blog maskot, vol. 276
Dear Diary,
Yeah, this was a good year.
IKLAN
When I think about where I started — I was a stray flashing my tum for gravy on the mean streets of Mill Valley — I can’t believe how far I’ve come.
Saya merasa sangat beruntung. A lot of cats don’t have it this good. I have a roof over my head, a mediocre pet assistant, a cupboard stocked with gravy, and millions of adoring fans.
What more could a tabby ask for?
IKLAN
Kaus Kucing & Makeup ??
$ 42.
Berbelanja sekarang
Professionally, I even accomplished most of my goals. I added more stamps to my passport, expanded my global empire and worked on hundreds of wonderful kitty modeling campaigns.
Here are some of the more memorable ones that come to mind…
Siapa yang tab kucing? Sekitar enam tahun yang lalu saya berteman dengan kucing tabby yang digigit, kutu dengan kasus cacing yang buruk. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. Kami menjadi teman cepat, dan sekarang dia benar-benar bos saya (dan model kitty yang sukses).
New York
I vividly remember this campaign for NARS. It was RyGos and I working together in new York City. We partied hard. We also did a lot of walking that trip, first all over downtown, and then to chase ducks in central Park.
I had a blast and really enjoyed working with RyGos. His tum is almost as extraordinary as mine.
Paris
I spent a lot of time in Paris this year. I’m still bummed about not winning the Oscar for my work on Les chat Misérables, but c’est la vie.
I also had a Chanel job in the springtime with Snowflake, which was très magnifique! hunting mice along the Seine after sunset, mewling for cheese — it was so romantic.
If I weren’t at the pinnacle of my kitty modeling career right now, I could see myself settling down with Snowflake. She’s just so…exciting, and boy can she model!
But I don’t have any room in my life for a relationship right now. It wouldn’t be fair to Snowflake…
Selandia Baru
Uh…New Zealand with Peter Jackson?
YA SILAHKAN!
That was another amazing trip. I gotta hand it to my assistant for arranging time with Peter Jackson between the two Hobbit movies. You know you’re in good hands when he’s behind the camera.
What a gorgeous country, too. I hear it’s how California probably looked a few hundred years ago — thick forests, tall, snow-capped mountains…and lots of sheep!
Morocco
Morocco…
Not my favorite trip this year, but that’s what I get for working with a newbie photographer. You’d think I’d know better by now.
The guy had absolutely no idea what he was doing, but at least I got to work with Steve again. best Bengal tiger in the kitty modeling business, paws down.
Karolina selatan
Hilton Head, South Carolina… You know, I surprised myself last summer on that job for CoverCat. I’d never waterskied before, but I think I did alright.
I’ve always had pretty good balance, even though my assistant laughs at me every time I slip on the kitchen tiles… I really should talk to her about that. It’s rude.
Miami
Miami for BECCA was fun, of course, but that’s mostly because I got some much-needed beach time.
Venice Beach, California
Speaking of beaches, Venice beach was cooler than I thought. I expected a lot more dogs…
I met so many musically talented cats down there. It reminded me of my days battling strays on street corners in Mill Valley for treats. I always had a good-sounding meow…
Tuscany
And then there was Tuscany. Really, how can you go wrong?
What was that Ragdoll kitty’s name again…? Patches, Peaches? She was the kitty model I worked with… I can’t remember her name, but she did a good job. I mean, she was nervous, but who wouldn’t be working with a powerhouse kitty modeling superstar like me?
Las Vegas
VEGAS!
You know what they say — what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. ‘Nuff said.
And meow…
Seriously, this was also a milestone year for me. Not only did I turn in some of my all-time best kitty modeling work, but I also penned my very first short story, a 5,000-word tail loosely based on actual events.
I’m reproducing it here in its entirety. hope you enjoy it, and I’ll see you soon in 2014.
Much love, always,
Tab.
A relaxing TIME
by Tabs the Cat
Tabs could not believe how loud the generator was. The sound reverberated off the walls of his tiny shelter, and probably also off the frigid floor, which except for the one hole cut in the middle of the room, was a 12-inch-thick slab of solid ice.
When his friend, Felix, told Tabs about this place, told him about how ice fishing up here in the northern Territories was the most relaxing thing he’d ever done, Felix neglected to mention the generator.
Figures…
Tabs shivered, despite his heavy wool coat, thick fur and thermal kitty underwear, and watched his breath puff in the frosty air.
The one electric bulb hanging from the ceiling briefly dimmed as the generator momentarily sputtered.
Wouldn’t that be perfect, Tabs thought, if the generator conked out and stranded him out here on a frozen lake?
The generator resumed its steady, rhythmic roar, which sounded to Tabs like the loudest lawn mower he’d ever heard.
He wondered what he would do if it stalled. The darkness wouldn’t be a problem for him because he was able to see in the dark, but the cold… how cold would it get in the little shack without the heater? probably very cold…
He had no transportation, either, thanks to Felix, who talked Tabs into hiring a local bush pilot to make the trip here. until the pilot returned on the day after Christmas, Tabs was on his own.
With a jolt, he suddenly remembered having his iphone and pulled it from a pocket inside his coat, thinking that if something happened to the generator, he could call his assistant for help.
He slid his paw across the phone’s screen, and the device sprung to life, displaying more than a dozen illuminated app icons. Instinctively, his eyes went to the upper lefthand corner.
“Meong!” he cursed. No bars. He wouldn’t be able to make a call.
He held up the phone and waved it around in the air, looking for a signal. nothing until, wait! — he saw one bar for a second. maybe he could get a stronger signal over there, he thought, looking at the one tiny window in the room.
He hopped down from the chair, a sturdy, old thing made of heavy wood, set the iphone down on the ice, and wrapped the end of his fishing line around a leg of the chair five times.
That should hold it, he thought, and then the generator stopped.
When he looked to face it, the bottom of his coat brushed the iPhone, which slid directly into the hole in the ice.
Plop, was the sound it made when it splashed into the water.
Uh, oh, Tabs thought, as the now quiet room went dark…
A relaxing TIME: chapter 2
Tabs sat motionless in the shed, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness as the ringing in his ears from the once noisy generator subsided.
Soon, thanks to the sparse moonlight coming in through the one tiny window in the room, he could clearly make out shapes — the chair, his Louis Vuitton luggage and Chanel overnight bag, the generator, electric heater, the hole in the ice and the small wooden workman’s desk — and then details, like the lovely Chanel double C logo, the elegant Louis Vuitton pattern and a familiar-looking tool on top of the desk…
Can opener, he thought. That’s what his assistant called them. He never figured out how to make it work, but he knew that it could produce gravy. His assistant did it all the time.
Knowing it was here, he felt a tinge of relief. maybe he could figure out how to use it if he had to. If his assistant could use it, it couldn’t be that hard.
Carefully, he walked over to the edge of the hole in the ice and peered down. Water gently lapped against the sides, but its depths were impenetrable, even to his efficient kitty eyes.
“Meong!” dia memanggil. Siri! then he made his way around to the other side of the hole and tried again, louder this time. “Meong!!” Siri!!
No answer… Was she ignoring him, or somehow unable to reply?
“Mrf!” he huffed. probably the former. These days, it’s just so hard to find good help.
It occurred to Tabs that he wouldn’t be in this situation had his assistant back at the office done her job. She was in charge of travel arrangements, after all, so this was entirely her fault.
“Mmrrrwww…” he grumbled. He was going to give her an earful when he got —
Tabs whipped around and focussed his senses intensely on the door. He heard something outside, something shuffling on the ice. His ears rotated on his head like tiny radar dishes trying to triangulate the source of the sound.
Di sana! He heard it again. Something skilled in the art of espionage. It was close. right behind the door, and it was big. Tabs could tell. much bigger than a cat.
Then, the smell. Instinctively, Tabs arched his back to appear larger, triggered his claws and hissed loudly at the door.
Anjing!
A relaxing TIME: chapter 3
Tabs hissed and growled at the thing on the other side of the door, throwing decorum out the window. Sure, it was rude and not very neighborly of him, but he and dogs had never gotten along very well. He thought they were always so…pushy, and clumsy.
That was the thing about dogs, he thought. They had no respect for personal space.
Tabs could hear it sniffing loudly outside, conducting reconnaisance. Tabs knew about their keen sense of smell, and knew that this one probably already knew that Tabs was alone in the shed, terrified, a little on the plump side and wearing Coco Mademoiselle.
“Meeeeooowww,” he groaned, using his office voice. Siapa itu? “Mrow!” Go away, or I’m calling the police!
No answer, and the sniffing sound stopped. seconds passed, and Tabs wondered if his threat had worked to scare away the dog.
He got to thinking that he shouLD mencari rute melarikan diri jika anjing memiliki kunci pintu. Tampaknya tidak mungkin, tetapi tab tidak yakin. Anjing itu mungkin lokal, setelah semua, dan mungkin tahu daerah ini. Mungkin itu bahkan menonton Tab tiba.
Pikiran ketakutan, dan hatinya yang mungil mulai berdebar. Dengan panik, dia melihat sekeliling ruangan lagi, matanya yang menakutkan nyaris tidak meluangkan waktu untuk fokus.
Ada jendela soliter, yang ditutup, dan cukup kecil, dan setidaknya lima kaki dari lantai beku. Dindingnya adalah bilah kayu vertikal, lembaran logam bergelombang langit-langit, dan tanah adalah lempengan es yang solid, kecuali untuk dipotong lubang nelayan kecil di tengah.
Dia melihat lubang sejenak, mendengarkan danau yang berdesak-desakan di dalamnya, kemudian ke generator yang sekarang diam dan pemanas listrik yang cepat dingin, dua tasnya di samping kursi kayu yang berat dengan lubang di atas es, setumpuk kayu yang tinggi Peti yang dia anggap kosong, dan kemudian di meja kerja mendorong ke atas salah satu dinding.
Tidak ada apa-apa. Tidak ada cara masuk atau keluar, kecuali untuk pintu.
Dia melatih penglihatan malamnya di pintu lagi dan memfokuskan telinganya seperti hidangan radar parabola, memindai suara sekecil apa pun …
Dan kemudian dunia meledak. Ada kecelakaan mengerikan di pintu, ditambah dengan gonggongan yang tak henti-hentinya. Suara itu menyebabkan tab melompat tiga kaki di udara, dan dia mendarat dengan canggung.
Tabrakan berlanjut, berulang-ulang, dan pintu bergidik. Seluruh gubuk mengguncang dengan keras, dan atap logam berdenting dan tertekuk. Tab meringkuk di atas es, menyusut ke lantai, seperti yang liar, lebar matanya melesat ke sana kemari.
Tab tidak pernah mendengar menggonggong seperti itu sebelumnya. Itu cair, fury visceral. Tidak, ini bukan anjing, tab menyadari. Ini monster.
Ketika makhluk itu menabrak pintu lagi, pintu terbuka.
Semuanya berjalan diam-diam seiring berjalannya waktu. Tab apa yang dilihat berdiri di depannya di ambang pintu – pada saat itu dia mengenalinya dan ingat melihat satu ketika dia bekerja sebagai tambahan pada darah HBO yang sebenarnya. Monster itu adalah manusia serigala, dan saat itu melompat.
Secara naluriah, tab berguling ke kirinya, meluncur di atas es ketika rahang makhluk itu membentak inci dari kepalanya. Momentum membawa binatang buas besar ke depan, dan itu berbaju dengan peti kayu, tidak dapat berhenti di atas es.
Peti itu jatuh, hancur, dan tampaknya mengubur makhluk itu di bawahnya, tetapi tab tidak ragu. Segera setelah dia mendapatkan kembali pijakannya, dia berlari menuju pintu yang terbuka, menjentikkan tas chanelnya semalam di jalan, dan melaju ke danau yang gelap dan beku.
Waktu santai: Bab 4
Begitu melewati pintu gubuk es, tab dikejutkan oleh luasnya langit malam dan danau beku. Dia berlari di atas es, kaki kecilnya bergabung seperti baling-baling baling-baling, cakarnya menggores pembelian.
Ketakutan mendorongnya lebih cepat, maju, lebih dalam ke malam hari. Ada titik-titik cahaya yang jauh di sisi lain danau, tetapi mereka tampak bermil-mil jauhnya. Tidak ada apa-apa untuk haknya tetapi hamparan dari danau beku, dan ke kiri, garis besar bayangan dari lahan – pantai lain, atau sebuah pulau mungkin, jauh lebih dekat daripada pantai. Tetapi tanpa tanda-tanda kehidupan. Hanya garis pohon tinggi di belakang pantai berbatu.
Di mana makhluk itu sekarang? Tab bertanya-tanya. Apakah itu menarik diri dari bawah peti di gubuk? Apakah dalam mengejarnya sekarang, mengejarnya di danau dengan kaki anjingnya yang lebih panjang? Tab tidak bisa memandang dirinya sendiri.
Paru-parunya mulai terbakar, dan dia menyadari bahwa langkahnya melambat. Lampu di pantai jauh dari danau memberi isyarat padanya. Tab tahu ada tempat berlindung di sana, orang-orang, tetapi tidak mungkin dia bisa berlari sepanjang jalan. Itu terlalu jauh.
Dia memindai pantai yang lebih dekat ke kiri lagi untuk tanda-tanda bantuan atau bahaya. Saat itu, Werewolf melolong di belakangnya.
Itu dekat! Tab bergidik, dan